She sat high atop the monolithic peak, ever watchful over the city of gold below. She was cobbled together over a long period of time and it was a testament to her fortitude that she was even keeping upright. The long years had eroded at her foundations. A maze of dark warrens and unexpected turns obfuscated her insides. To advance was to step into darkness, and trust the choice made. Cold and tough, few knew her well enough to navigate the dead-ends and dangers.
Patzau Ashill sat at her desk atop the Casoyan Fortress. The wind howled fiercely and the windows whistled with the wind’s eagerness to explore the high tower. The even glow of an illum stone lamp illuminated the desk. Notes, contracts, and ledgers lay arranged before her, a display of how costly this prolonged campaign against Mudtown was becoming. The glow produced long shadows on the far wall and reflected off the chamber’s well polished stone floor.
It had been weeks since the attempt on Patzau Yohati’s life and the Patzau’s original campaign against the thieves and murderers responsible. The resulting chaos had spiraled into the greatest challenge of Yanata Ashill’s long career. The problem was one of delicacy. Policing the city or marching against an enemy were trivial tasks for a woman of her rank and expertise, but unravelling a rebellion where the guilty and the innocent were knotted together was another matter entirely. In a city strangled by unrest by fires, floods, political instability, and famine, there were no clear lines to hold. This was the truest test of command, and Ashill knew she was failing.
Quelling revolt was a difficult task in its own right. Now it felt as if the city itself was coming apart at the seams. Since Yohati’s failed assassination, political violence was on the upswing culminating in the murder of Careyago Ambassador Durali and her partner. So it was with no surprise that the sudden and suspicious death of Minoc’s replacement, Patzau Hairo Bradel, Yanata found herself stretched too thin. Worse, she was distracted. Minoc languished in the depths of this very fortress, her fortress, and his sham of a trial gnawed at her thoughts. It kept her up at night. At least, those nights she chose sleep. He was innocent. It hadn’t even taken much of an effort to prove it. That was the worst part. She had tasked Elvi with looking into the council’s claims and the woman hadn’t even needed a full day.
She wasn’t so foolish as to think him incapable. Her time as prison warden had taught her the hard lesson that fine-seeming folks were capable of terrible things. Character alone tracks poorly with innocence. And now Yanata knew how that felt. She too was no longer innocent. She had sat there, listening to all the bullshit and yet she had remained silent. Only Ada had stood up for Mellen. She told herself that it had been exhaustion that had silenced her. That a lack of information had kept her from speaking up. But lies only work when you believe them and the stain on her heart was painted in regret.
A sharp rap on the door broke her from her reverie. Surprised by the late hour, Yanata stood and crossed to the door. When she opened it, Patzau Yohati stood in the hallway, his face set in its usual inscrutable expression. “It’s late, Yohati” Yanata replied, not bothering to hide her surprise. “What brings you here?”
“Yanata,” Yohati said, his voice low but firm. “I’ve come to speak with you about our ongoing predicament. May I come in?”
“Please” she said, opening the door wider in invitation.
Yohati stepped inside, his fine slippers pattering on the polished floor. “I have a matter of great importance to discuss” he began. He did not wait for her to sit before speaking, “The campaign in Mudtown. It has become too high a burden for us to continue to bear as we have been. The criminals in the slums are growing bolder. Innocent people are being hurt by our unwillingness to commit. If we don’t act decisively, this cost in lives will only escalate.”
“Hard when our enemies shroud themselves amongst true Casoyans” Yanata said carefully.
“I agree. Which is why we must raze Mudtown.”
Yanata drew in a gasped breath. She had expected something, but this wasn’t it.
“We must destroy the slums entirely. It is a problem we can no longer ignore. You’ve heard the stories. People are getting sick inside the city from the filth of the place. Children are being coerced into petty crime for gang lords and business are being extorted by bandits. This was before all of the chaos of the last few weeks. Now conditions are a thousand times worse.”
Yanata grunted. The thought of annihilating the slum entirely wasn’t what she had expected from Yohati’s proposal. He had always been the most wise and impartial of the council. Although it wasn’t spoken, she understood the true cost of his suggestion and it was difficult to stomach.
“We will give warning of course,” Yohati continued, “and encourage innocents to take shelter elsewhere. But in the end, we must dismantle the bastion of crime and oppression. They have made a fortress out of innocent bodies. We must tear it down. Force them out of their dens. Only then can we strike without fear of hostages. Only then will we have the opportunity to rebuild, properly, with the city’s infrastructure rather than the shanties these people call homes.”
“What you suggest is respectable in theory, but many won’t leave. They will turn against us over of this decision. We will be destroying homes and families. And where will they go during the campaign?”
Yohati sighed. “We can work out those details later. We have no better choice” He spoke so plainly. And with the calm demeanor of righteousness, it maddened her. “I hate to admit it,” he continued, “but we are at an impasse. I would not suggest this course if I thought there was a better way forward.”
“I will issue the order,” Yanata said, her voice flat as she reached for a wax tablet. On second thought, she stood and collected parchment from a cabinet in the corner and an ink well.
“Good idea” Yohati said calmly, “More official. Can’t be easily erased or altered like wax.”
As she wrote, Yanata’s hand felt heavy. The words on the page felt more like a sentence than a decree. Her thoughts drifted for a brief moment. Then the memory of her daughter, Yuromi, bloodied after leaving Mudtown popped into her mind as she signed the decree. Yohati poured the hot wax for her and Yanata stamped the orange liquid with her guild’s signet, her fist clenched. She held the military decree in her hand and stared at it in wonder. What will become of all those people? She wondered. Will all this truly bring about a greater good? She didn’t know, and so she hoped instead.
She handed the order to Yohati, who took it without a word of thanks. “Do you have someone in mind to lead the assault?” Yohati asked. Yanata thought for an instant she saw his eyes a gleam with satisfaction as he reviewed the parchment.
“No” She answered. The fervor with which she had written the order disappeared and exhaustion took its place. She felt drained and stifled a yawn.
“Might I suggest, Captain Gal Burm for the task” Yohati said.
“Sure” she said, no longer interested.
“Good night, Ashill” Yohati said. Yohati slipped from the room like a shadow.
After he left, Yanata remained, staring down at the empty chair across from her desk. She could hear her own slow breaths, as if the very air had thickened with her shame. What have I become? After an indeterminate amount of time, she stood and walked out. She needed air. Her office felt suffocating. The fortress felt suffocating. She ascended the stairwell that led to the roof of the officer’s tower. The hatch whistled loudly in the wind. Yanata opened it and a gust kicked the wooden trapdoor open with a loud bang. The roof was vacant and the night air was cold. It rushed by in great gusts that rustled the small trees that clung to the high cliff rocks. The sky was dark and only a sliver of distant daylight clung to the distant horizon.
Yanata walked to the edge and looked across the bay towards the city. The twin domes of the Auction House and the Palace glowed a soft blue. The rest of the city looked dark by comparison. City streets looked like cracks of light upon the dark landscape. Lanterns glowed in distant windows and down streets and alleyways. The walls of the city hugged the city like a dark ring and beyond the walls, Mudtown sat in the low-lands due east. From her high vantage over the city, it looked peaceful and quiet. Yanata tried to imaging what it might one day look like if they succeeded. An expansion of the city like never before seen. Real homes. Safe streets. Clean water. It seemed right. But it felt so wrong.
So, she tried not to think about it. Her mind instead wandered to her other regrets: Not asking more questions in Patzau Minoc’s trial. Not being as stalwart as Ada. Not being a better leader for her guildsmen. Not being a better mother to her girls. Her thoughts drifted back to the conversation she had had in this very tower with Patzau Minoc a month prior. He had warned her that Powanati and Hadashenta were consolidating power and wealth. He had told her that he planned on making a stand against it. And now he withered away in her prison, condemned to die. This is all madness. It can only be madness, Yanata thought. We have been consumed by it. Madness and greed… just as Minoc had warned me.
The wind stopped unexpectedly and the silence that replaced the howling was deafening. It left her unprotected from her thoughts. Vulnerable to her doubts. Yanata turned and Elvi stood beside her. She wasn’t sure if Elvi had approached silently or if she had simply remained distracted. Being snuck-up on unnerved her. The pungent smell of Elvi’s sorcery lingered without the wind to carry it away. It smelled like a clear sky on a cold day up in the mountains. Or perhaps it was a bit medicinal, like soothing herbs. Yanata couldn’t place it, but it was familiar and calming.
“I hope you don’t mind,” Elvi said quietly.
“No, I appreciate the sentiment,” she replied.
“Wouldn’t want you to blow off the roof.”
“It’d take more than a big gust to kill me, El” Yanata replied flatly.
“Well, out with it,” Elvi said.
“Out with what?”
“Whatever it is that’s got you troubled.”
Yanata scowled. Elvi had always been good at being attuned to her emotions, sensing even the subtlest change in her mood. “It seems I’m wearing my inner conflict across my face” Yanata said after a moment. “Spirits, where do I even start?”
“Is it Mudtown or Minoc?” Elvi asked.
“How are you husbandless? If you can handle me, you can handle any man.”
“Just haven’t found the right one” Elvi said. “So, its Minoc that’s got you up here, hm?”
“You should have been a fortune teller instead of a soldier” Yanata quipped. “You’d have made a lot more money. Used your Aginjigaade skills to add to the showmanship of it all.”
“You’re stalling”
“Oh, for spirits sake.” Yanata growled. She met Elvi’s sly smile with one of her own. “He didn’t do it” she said after a quiet moment. “You did all that work investigating and not once did Minoc come up as a suspect. No connections. No evidence. No associations. If it were Powanati, I’d have less difficulty believing it, I’ve heard those two yell at one another…”
“We’ve all heard those two yell at each other” Elvi admitted.
“Damn it! I’m just so tired. And that shouldn’t be an excuse, that’s my problem. I shouldn’t have let that circus of a trial continue. It was bullshit, Elvi. The whole thing felt like a song and dance and I sat there and played my fucking tambourine. I mean they gagged the fucking man at his own trial for spirits sake. I feel dirty for having been a part of it.”
Elvi remained quiet, giving her friend the space to think. Yanata took a deep breath and let out a hard sigh. “Yohati came to see me tonight” she said.
“Yohati came all the way here again?” Elvi asked, feigning surprise.
“He wanted me to order an escalation to the campaign. He wanted me to give the order to raze Mudtown” Yanata admitted.
“And you said no?” Elvi asked.
“No, I fucking signed it” Yanata whispered, as if confessing to a crime.
“You signed it?” Elvi asked again, astonished. “I don’t understand.”
“I realized that, if I refused, the council will vote to remove me” Yanata said. “I’m not entrenched like Minoc and the other Patzau. It’s so easy to get me out of their way. I realized that, if I didn’t do it, they’ll just replace me with somebody else who would make things a hundred times worse for those people. It was a moment of weakness; of desperation. I thought it was smart. That I can do things, little acts of recourse, to try and make things better. But now… I’ve come to realize just how foolish it was.” A silence stretched between them. Elvi seemed ready to argue, but no words came. “I should have resigned” Yanata continued. “I’ve stamped my authorization on the murder of innocents. I’ve compromised my ideals to cling on to what little power I have left.”
“Its not the same–” Elvi argued, but Yanata cut her off.
“It is the same” she said. “Sure, it’s the power to try and do what I think is right, but it is still a compromise to maintain power; to have control. I tell myself that I’ll be better than whoever they replace me with but do the things I abhor anyway to maintain control. I don’t think I’m fit to lead this guild any longer.”
“That’s nonsense, Yanata” Elvi said eagerly. “Do you truly think whoever they replace you with will do a fraction of good when compared to you? You can’t give up now. This city will crumble without you.”
“I’m not so sure that’s true,” Yanata admitted, “but it’s nice to hear that you think so.”
“Just give it more time” Elvi urged. “I’ll work on the smaller unimportant issues. The Gaagians. The Ambassador. Hairo’s death. I’ll get somebody else to handle Minoc’s execution. You just focus on Mudtown and ensuring it doesn’t all go to shit.”
After a long pause, Patzau Ashill finally answered her with, “Okay.” Relief flooded Elvi’s face. “Go home, Elvi. You need your sleep as much as I do. We can talk more tomorrow.”
It was clear that Elvi wanted to protest, but didn’t. She left and Yanata stood alone with the wind and a new mission. Elvi didn’t know it, she couldn’t know it, but their conversation had helped Yanata in more ways than one. Descending from the roof, Yanata entered one of her senior officer’s offices and nicked a bottle of plum wine she knew he had stashed in his desk. She took one of his candles too. Crossing the bridge, she wound her way through the fortresses’ maze of warrens. Her footsteps echoed in the quiet of the empty halls. As she descended, the air grew colder and the stone walls grew older and darker. She enterer the jailer’s office and surprised the older man who sat lounging in the cramped room with only a book and a candle light. He jolted upright in surprise as the door opened and then again to attention as he realized who is unexpected visitor was.
“Patzau Ashill” he stammered. “W– What?”
“Take the next few days off, Trundle” Yanata said casually. “Full pay. I’ll handle guard duty tonight and find you a replacement for tomorrow and the day after.”
“I don’t understand” Trundle said, almost more surprised she knew his name than the strange words that came from her mouth.
“I can’t sleep” she lied. She tossed him a small pouch and then said, “Go home. Forget you saw me here tonight and you can keep that.” Trundle opened the pouch, closed his mouth, saluted, and left with a giddiness Yanata envied. It can be so easy to change a person’s life, she realized. Maybe I’m as bad as they are. She tried not to dwell down that path. Regrets were not among the things she lacked.
It was easy finding Patzau Minoc’s cell. He was one of only two prisoners in the deepest bowels of the fortress’ prison. He stirred as the cell door clicked open and she pulled up a chair. “I know you’re awake, Mellen” Yanata said calmly. He turned, surprised to hear from her. He seemed just as shocked to see her.
“Now this is a surprise” Mellen said, “I thought you were the jailer, doing his rounds.”
“I am your jailer” Yanata said coldly.
“I suppose that’s true” Mellen admitted. He sat up and somehow looked even thinner than he did the day prior. “You brought me a going-to-die present?” He asked, looking at the bottle.
“Something like that” Yanata said. She uncorked the bottle of wine and poured two glasses. “Don’t break that” she warned as placed one in front of him, her eyes meeting his.
“Poisoned I’d expect?” He asked with a mirth that seemed out of place. He gulped the wine down eagerly and then smiled up at her. Yanata couldn’t help but smile back. “So, what brings you down here to a sorry place like this?” he asked as she refilled his glass. “You doing rounds for all the prisoners now? Because the young man a few cells over is a lovely conversationalist.”
“I came to do what you asked” Yanata answered. “I’ve come to listen to what you’ve been trying to tell me for the past month. But no flowery bullshit this time. Give me the hard truths.”
And he did.
*
Days later, Patzau Ashill stood alone atop the fortress keep overlooking the city. She wore a cloak against the mountain winds and it flapped haphazardly behind her. The hour was late and the sky dark, save for the glow of fires emanating from the slums far below. The city itself, alive with the bright glow of its twin domed buildings, seemed pristine in its quiet majesty. But in the shadow of the mountains, the still sprawling conflagration was a reminder of what she had done.
The wind had calmed much since the sun had set, but the fires burned hot enough to spread uncontrolled even without its influence. They left the city bathed in ginger light, as if the sun had never finished setting on this terrible day. Smoke billowed so thick and black that even the infinite night sky appeared bright by comparison. Yes, the Casoyan Fortress, perched high atop the volcanic plug, offered a commanding view from which Yanata could bask in her own failure. She stared down at Mudtown. Her face was steely and composed, and hid well the remorse she felt.
She clenched the resignation letter in her fist, the curled parchment crumpling under the force of her grip. It was left on her desk by her daughter. Yuromi had rejected her position in the guild. Her letter was more a denouncement than resignation. Ashamed to call myself a soldier, the letter had read. Ashamed to bare the reputation of Ashill. Yanata’s breath caught as she ruminated over her daughter’s words. Worse, found herself agreeing. The difference was, she was supposed to be in charge. The fires, the destruction, the targeting of civilians; they were no accident. Soldiers, her soldiers, had carried out wanton destruction and massacres.
Yuromi had always been smart. Maybe not the cold tactical smarts her twin sister Kida had, but smart enough to recognize she no longer supported what the guild was becoming and brave enough to walk away. It had taken Yanata until this very moment to see it herself. She felt betrayed, just like Minoc. Worse, she knew she had betrayed herself in the process. Betrayed Yuromi. Betrayed Caso. She had sacrifice everything she believed in to retain control, and now she stood looking out over the city with nothing left. Not even that control.
It had Patzau Yohati written all over it. He had been the one to pressure her to order the attack. He had agreed to her stipulations, and they had agreed that the destruction of Mudtown was necessary. But he and Burm had promised it wouldn’t be like this. It was to be controlled. Systematic. Yanata felt a fool for believing them. Especially after Minoc’s betrayal. Fire is the madman’s weapon. They lied to her and now she was poised to take the fall. Her soldiers had retreated in defeat, thwarted by the fires they had lit. Hundreds were dead and dying. More were burning and suffocating. And she could do nothing but watch it unfold from atop her tower. My greatest failure and my lasting legacy, she lamented. The weight in her chest threatened to crush her. But before she could hesitate any further, quiet footfalls sounded behind her.
“Yuromi?” she asked readily. Eager to apologize to the daughter she had betrayed.
“Not this time, mother” Kida said.
Her other daughter walked forward to stand at her side. They stood together in silence, Yanata, confused by Kida’s presence and Kida, absorbed by the immense inferno below. The glow of the flames lit Kida’s face. It gave her an ominous look. Yanata felt a chill but passed it off as the wind. Kida’s eyes glittered with the same unflinching resolve that had always marked her.
“The fire is beautiful, isn’t it?” Kida asked, her voice low, almost reverent.
“Beautiful?” Yanata repeated, surprised by the comment.
“Yes, beautiful” Kida repeated. She seemed enchanted by the distant flames. “It’s a demonstration of our might, of Casoyan power. A warning to these tribes of thieves and criminals that Casoyan justice is swift and Casoyan justice is exacting. They’ll think again before they disrespect the order of things.”
Yanata turned sharply, her face a mask of quiet disdain and horror. “You find this spectacle beautiful?” She took a step forward. Her voice was laced with an edge of pain as she spoke, “This is not beauty. This is devastation. This… this is my greatest failure.”
Kida met her gaze with defiance, disappointment appearing across her young face. It was a mirror of Yanata’s own. “Failure?” she scoffed, “What are you talking about? This is a lesson to those who oppose us, Mother. A lesson they’ll not soon forget. There is no peace without respect for order, and so we show these people what true disorder looks like. This is what they deserve.”
Yanata’s hand rose without warning. She struck Kida across the face with a force that rang through the air like the crack of a whip. Kida reeled, her expression one of shock, before her eyes narrowed in fury. “If you see this city burning as anything but a failure,” Yanata growled, her voice low and dangerous, “you don’t deserve your position in this guild.”
For a moment, Kida stood motionless, still processing the blow. Then, her eyes flared with fury, and she stormed forward, her voice rising. “Unbelievable. I didn’t want to accept it. What they say about you is true. You’ve grown weak! You’ve lost your edge! You’ve forgotten what it means to command—to rule! Those people hate you. They want you dead. They want us all dead and yet you mourn them? You’re fucking pathetic.”
Yanata’s breath came quick, her chest tight with emotion. “Go home right now, Kida,” she said, the command sharp and unyielding. “You will do well to remember that I am not only your mother, but your superior. Think wisely before you come to me with such foolish arrogance again. And remember this, you are not the one who has to live with the consequences of these choices. We will pay for this in blood, mark my words.”
Kida spat on the ground; her eyes full of contempt. “You’ve lost yourself, Mother. And in doing so, you’ll lose us this city: our home. I’ll make sure they know it’s you they should blame.”
“Good luck with that” Yanata spat. They already plan to blame me, she thought, stewing in her anger and frustrations. They won’t need your help, you ungrateful little witch. What happened to my sweet little girl? What happened to my Kida. When did she become this monster?
Kida called out back to her as she stood in the stairwell, one hand on the hatch, “You shame yourself, and you disgrace the Ashill name. Your time is up, mother.” She slammed the trapdoor behind her, disappearing into the tower with the last word.
Yanata cursed under her breath. They judge you weak when showing mercy and tyrannical when displaying strength. You, my daughter, understand nothing about the paradox of leadership.
The silence that followed was heavy. Patzau Ashill stood motionless, staring down at the flames below. Kida’s words stung. She replayed them over and over in her mind as the world burned. Her regrets fell not on the choices she had made as a general, save for this last proclamation. Instead, her regrets were for the choices she’d made as a mother. She had failed both her daughters, in opposite ways. A candle lit from both ends.
The only thing that Yanata could imagine might be worse on a night like this was more company. She got it. Five more figures ascended the tower to join her atop the roof not long after Kida had departed. Never a spare moment to wallow in my own dark thoughts, Yanata sighed. She turned and saw Patzau Adagizhi, Patzau Hadashenta, and Patzau Powanati, their silhouettes framed by moonlight. Behind them, Guild Aginjigaade. The man on the left was Kawaka Bedil of Powanati’s guild, and the other was Janos Tydana of Yohati’s. She turned back to face the fires below and waited for the moment she feared most.”
“Patzau Ashill” Adagizhi said, his voice stern.
“Have you come to watch Mudtown burn with me?”
“No” Adagizhi replied.
“Then you’ve come to twist the knife.”
She turned, and the five men stood still a few paces behind her. The three bastards she could kill with her bare hands. It wouldn’t even be that hard. No wonder they had brought the Aginjigaade. Needed to feel safe while facing down an old woman.
None responded. Their silence angered her, “Well, for fuck’s sake Murak, get on with it.”
Adagizhi’s eyes were cold, his voice sharp as he spoke. “Patzau Yanata Ashill, by the order of the Patzau’s Council, you are hereby removed from your position as Leader of the Soldiers Guild. Your failure to properly execute your orders today has brought ruin to the guild and shame to our great city. We’ve come to relieve you of your command.”
Yanata’s gaze flickered briefly to the empty space beside them. “Yohati couldn’t be here to twist the knife himself?” she chucked bitterly.
Patzau Hadashenta ignored the remark, his gaze fixed on her. “The position of Patzau has been reassigned. Captain Gal Burm will assume your role. He will serve Casoyans well.”
Yanata’s mind raced, and a bitter laugh escaped her lips. Gal will serve you well, maybe. “Gal Burm? He’s not even close to making commander, let alone Patzau.” She chewed on her lip for a moment longer, Mulling over the appointment. “But now that I think about it, Burm makes sense. You always wanted a puppet who can be controlled. It’s too risky to have a Patzau who might actually be able to lead this fucking guild.”
“Careful. You sound like Minoc” Powanati said. It was a threat.
“Well unlike Minoc, you don’t have to fucking crucify me to get me to leave. Consider me gone.” Yanata spat. Frustration bubbled over and contempt spilled into her words, “I’ll get my things and let you enjoy your new council. One where you can ruin this city as much as you want. No hard feelings. Wish you all the best.”
Yanata Ashill, Patzau no more, turned from the gathered group and made her way down to her office. They let her go unimpeded. Back in her office, she collected a few personal belongings. She grabbed a token from her late husband, her sword and coat, and a few sealed reports. She looked around the room, and thought about her decisions here. She knew at least, the very last one she had made would do some good. Be free old friend.
Yanata descended the steps and stopped halfway across the bridge, looking back at the fortress and the city beyond. And for the first time in many years, she felt the weight of everything she given and now lost. The Guild was her life. It was her passion. He hopes and dreams. It was also her bane. And it was her home. She had given everything to the guild; to Caso. Her husband, her children, her life. Now it all felt empty. The thought was unbearably depressing. So much so that Yanata turned around and stalked back across the bridge and up to the top floor to ransack another bottle of wine for the journey home. Finding a pair of Yintal wines, she swiped both, knowing nobody would ever believe her the culprit.
She uncorked the first bottle with her teeth and took a large swig. The drink felt like a relief. Medicine for a broken heart. She knew the feeling well. It had been a very long time and yet, far too recent. It would feel even better not to feel anything. Soon, she promised herself. Bitter, she set off to drown herself in her new prizes in the comfortable emptiness of her own home.
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